Time Travel & Serendipitous Moments

Posted by Lily Max on 4 February 2015 | 0 Comments

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Hi dee hi happy campers. It appears lil ol moi, Lily Max, has the powers of time travel. This discovery is possibly the most ser-en-di-pi-tous moment** of my life. I’m alive! After a bloggers leap from June 2013 to February 2015, the start of our new school year. Get down! Extra great news is that, good morrr-ninng Mr Young-ER is my teacher. Again. Mr Younger is in fact young and does not need to be young-er like most of the staff at my school. 

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A not very funny joke

Posted by Lily Max on 28 June 2013 | 0 Comments

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"What did the pencil sharpener say to the pencil?"

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Wordy Sunday Roast

Posted by Lily Max on 6 May 2013 | 1 Comments

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‘It’s almost snowing in our neck of the woods,’ said Dad to his mate Noel, yesterday on the phone.I thought do woods have necks? And tried to picture a wood with a neck in my mind’s eye. All I could see was tall dark trees and damp. Then Dad said;

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It's ME - Lily Max Maxwell-Small!

Posted by Lily Max on 4 April 2013 | 1 Comments

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Jeesh, I have not blogged in a while, have I peeps. Soz big time about that. I have been busy over on my http://www.facebook.com/pages/LilyMax-Fan-Club/160953683965154?ref=hl page. Where I have 21 lovely friends who 'like' me. Big sigh o-joy. I have also been very busy eating Easter eggs and bunnies. You know chocolate is my all-time go-to fav sweet treat. Plus, I have been making Easter cards. Alas, these took some time. That's what happens when you decide to SEW cards on the sewing machine, not glue them! I'll just have to send them next year. Love yas LMxx

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Strawberries are Best with Chocolate & Cream

Posted by Lily Max on 29 November 2012 | 2 Comments

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If you live in America you have just had Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is a day much like Christmas Day, when families gather and share a HUMUNGOUS dinner. If you are not careful, you can eat SO much at this dinner, that you cannot move yourself and your stomach from the table. Believe me, I have done this before. So WARNING stop eating before your stomach explodes!! Also, berries are best with chocolate and cream, but one (big) bowlful is plenty. I mention berries because where I live; we have Xmas in summer when strawberries, raspberries, blackberries, blueberries, greenberries (kidding, green berries do not exist) are all ripe for picking. None of that yukko pud full of dried old sultanas and cherries turned into glazed-turnips for me. Nor do we have to eat pie for pudding with a vegetable in it like pumpkin. Phew. If you keep to the one berry-delicious-bowlful rule at dinnertime, your mum will probably let you have another for breakfast. If she says, NO. Tell her you need 11 strawberries a day to get enough vitamin C to function properly! And chocolate is a must for eternal happiness…on the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me… LM xx.

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Trick or Treat, Smell My Feet, Give me...

Posted by Lily Max on 31 October 2012 | 3 Comments

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Today is Halloween in New Zealand (which is not near Iceland). Everyone at school is dressing up like dead people. Then getting their parents to drop them in places with LOTS of houses. They plan to knock on doors and say something like: ‘trick or treat, smell my feet, give me something nice to eat. Or else!’ I said I’d come along and do the ‘dead-bloody-finger’ trick. But I can’t. Because I find knocking-on-strange-doors asking for food, major freak-out material. All the other kids think it’s perfectly OKAY. So call me a chicken. But you will find me at home tonight making: eyeball cupcakes, bloody fingers, jelly entrails, and spider shakes for dinner. And if anyone dares walk all the way up my winding driveway, I will open the door wearing a white sheet. My hands will be stained blood red. And when those cheeky children say: give me something nice to eat. I’ll pull out a strap of red licorice – from the hole in the sheet near my stomach. And shout: ‘EAT THIS. Ooooooooooooooooooooooooo”

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School Project: The Giant Man

Posted by Lily Max on 5 September 2012 | 9 Comments


School Project: Out of the ordinary Facts. There is a man living in Turkey who is 8 feet three inches tall (2 metres 52 cms). His name is Sultan Kosen. He is the tallest man in the world. He is probably as tall as a teenage giraffe. Giraffes grow to 18 feet (5 metres 48 cms). But we were talking about Sultans. Sultans are rulers. Not the ones used for maths. No sultans are rulers of countries. Like we have Kings and Queens. In the olden days Sultans wore these amazing bouffy hats. I just found one on Wikipedia. Fine if you want to walk around with an enormous cloth ball on your head. Anyway getting back to Sultan Kosen, he has a disease called giant-a-nism. No sorry you call it gigantism. Any way you look at it, he is a giant AND gigantic. But he has finally stopped growing. This must be a relief for his shoemaker. He takes a size ENORMOUS. If you are thinking of trying to grow bigger feet than this guy. Don’t bother. He is already in the Guiness book of records for biggest human feet and biggest human hands too. Go him!

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Here is the Church but where is the Steeple?

Posted by Lily Max on 21 August 2012 | 1 Comments


Jane just took me to a Book Festival in Christchurch. There were lots of lovely children there who took my bookmark home to use. These children love reading books but hate losing their page. Some also love writing their OWN books. Go them. I’m too busy designing clothes and sewing to write my own book, so Jane is doing it for me. Some of you girls and boys reading my blog may know my friend Saffron. Saffron is so quite excellent at being helpful, but she is often making a mess of things too. Aren’t you Saffron!? She talks to me on facebook (which is a place a bit like moshi monsters for teenagers).

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It's A Joke

Posted by Lily Max on 15 August 2012 | 5 Comments

What do you call a man with a paper bag on his head?

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Cows In Space

Posted by Lily Max on 27 July 2012 | 2 Comments


When mum is too TIRED and I need to talk to a sensible adult – I call Granny. Yesterday she was acting weird. She said, ‘I’d be tired too. You kids aren’t exactly shrinking violets.’ So I said, ‘None of us is called Violet, Granny.’ And she said. ‘What I mean is, you’re not exactly sitting on the sofa all day with your noses in books.’ And I said. ‘But why would we Granny? Who reads with their nose? Eyes do the work with a bit of brain.’ ‘Now I feel tired,’ said Granny and she rung off. Don’t get me wrong - I like reading, along with designing, drawing, cutting, sewing, gluing, watching TV & surfing cyberspace. Yesterday, I discovered a man in a pressure suit who fell from space. He was so high up, the sky was dark and he could see the curve of the earth. How lonely would that be? He could have hit a bird flying south (or north) for winter on his way down. He was 80,000 feet in the air! His suit said ‘Red Bull’. That’s probably the first time a cow has been in space. One word: AMAZING!

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